If you haven’t heard there are a bunch of wannabe Centurion Cards out there including Magnises who worked with Ja Rule to completely fuck up Fyre Festival. They also have pretty much sucked it up in everything else they have done. The newest iteration of the fake status card is SELECT which just rolled out in Chicago, they have much better prospects of being better this time around. I went ahead and got it for its churn-ability and to impress thirty thousand dollar millionaires while popping bottles at ‘da club. The membership was $250 with a $100 statement credit. Then you get deals at select places using their concierge. The latest deal was $40 worth of appetizers at Hugo Fish Bar on Rush Street. The only stipulation was it had to be a table of two, technically you could both show up, order $40 with of appetizers and then get the credit and leave. I didn’t do that and ended up splitting an entree with my $40 worth of apps. I have used in at other places and have gotten the most out of the membership.
The latest perk was the launch party at the Underground in Chicago. This was advertised as 2 hours of open bar, A-List celebrities, spinner rims, sick beats, etc. When I got there I certainly got the VIP treatment, concierge knew my name, drinks were free, music was pumping.
There was a random Hors d’oeuvre of cookies and brownies too.
Which was kind of weird, but talking to the other guests I have figured out the main clientele of the Select are Geekball churners such as myself. There were no billionaires or trust fund babies to order a $5,000 30 lbs bottle of champagne.
I spilled a drink and instead of throwing me out like the places I am used to going ,they profusely apologized, had a team of three clean up the spill, and got me a replacement drink! Top notch service catering to the clumsy and drunk!
When the open bar closed I took my drunk cheap ass into a free Uber (thanks to $15 AmEx Uber credit) right into a free Ritz Carlton room. A devoted reader to Derp Report had one more night left from his Ritz Carlton Card from Chase which was to expire that night! Good news, apparently the 5/24 rule does not apply for this card, and other chase hotel cards. He booked the room and named me as his guest, no problem at all checking in!
I got to drink for free and wake up at the Ritz thanks to churning! Thanks again readers for all of the support!